Resources

Navigating Relationships After a Cancer Diagnosis

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Cancer is a very scary word, and when one person in the family has been diagnosed, it can feel like the entire family is facing the disease. When Robert* was first diagnosed in February 2009 with bone marrow cancer, his whole life came to a standstill. “I went from working 40+ hours each week and participating in extracurricular activities in my free time to not working at all and being bed-bound due to the horrific side effects from my treatments,” recalls Robert. “I had planned out my whole life, down to my retirement, but never thought to include a diagnosis and plan for cancer.”

Following any diagnosis, the next few months can be a whirlwind of medical treatments, hospitalizations, tests and side effects, which are often followed by feelings of depression, anger, anxiety and fear. “Those emotional responses to life-altering medical diagnoses are normal,” explains Youth Crisis Center’s Director of Program Services, Cecelia Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs, LMHC. “It’s important to develop a support system, not just for the patient, but for the entire family.”

For those facing a life-threatening illness, The American Cancer Society finds some of the most common emotional and physiological issues for their family members are:

  • Family and social isolation and/or conflict
  • Concern about the quality of life
  • Problems adjusting to illness or changes in care
  • Making decisions for future medical care (advance directives)
  • Grief

Robert says it was hard for him to reach out to family and friends because he was exhausted from his illness and the treatments. He didn’t have the energy and didn’t want them to see him looking physically ill. That can be very challenging for family and friends who want to help, but don’t know what to do when the person who is ill is pushing them away. “It’s beneficial for family members to be in therapy so they can also express their emotions/feelings and can work through them to find the best adjustments in the new situation,” advises Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs, LMHC. “It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach when you are going through something so personal. Everyone will react differently, but at the end of the day, we need to get everyone through this difficult time in as healthy a way as possible.”

A therapist can offer families the opportunity to share their feelings of loss, grief, sadness or fear in a safe and supportive environment. They can also provide referrals to resources in the community that assist with finances, transportation and caregiver respite. YCC identifies three top tips for emotional and mental stability when facing illness as a family:

  • Have the family participate in family counseling to help process the diagnosis. Work with a professional to develop an individualized plan for family needs.
  • Build a schedule and rotate caregiving shifts to help prevent burnout and minimize stress.
  • Don’t isolate yourself – this goes for the patient and the family members.

Robert says turning to friends and family for support did help him through this tough time. He also re-focused his fears to more productive avenues, like learning how to eat healthier and educating himself on what he could do to be an active participant in his healing and recovery process. He says he found a new respect for life’s preciousness and suggests considering the financial implications of these types of unexpected life experiences when making long term plans for yourself and your family.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.

Are you concerned about relationship issues with your child or between family members? The Youth Crisis Center’s Outpatient Behavioral Health program provides comprehensive mental health and psychiatric care to children as young as 3, as well as their families. Parents may receive individual and family counseling services regardless if their child is a YCC client. Click to learn more about 5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships.

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Jax Journal Spotlights YCC

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On October 27th Danielle Leigh from Jax Journal sat down with President and CEO Kim Sirdevan from the Youth Crisis Center. Take a listen as they discuss everything from crisis services offered by YCC to upcoming projects and how you can get involved. 

Founded in 1974 as Florida’s first runaway program, Youth Crisis Center has grown to one of the largest and best-known providers of services for youth and families. YCC’s emphasis on care is for those  who have been exposed to traumatic situations such as divorce, homelessness, relocation, loss of life, and abuse. YCC provides a variety of services for children, adolescents, young adults, and families.

 

The Connection Between Domestic Violence and Bullying

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Could That Bully Actually Be a Victim of Domestic Violence?

As we mark Domestic Violence Awareness Month, along with Bullying Prevention Month, it’s the perfect time to examine the connection between domestic violence and bullying. Studies show that children exposed to violence at home tend to participate in higher levels of physical bullying than young people who were not witnesses to violent behavior.

Domestic Violence Can Influence Child Bullies

Researchers from the University of Washington and Indiana University were among the first in the country to focus their study on the association between children who witnessed their parents or caregivers behaving violently towards each other and that child’s likelihood to bully other kids. It also drilled down to look at the type of violence the child witnessed as compared to the tactics the child used while bullying others. For example, if a child witnessed hitting and pushing at home, did they, in turn, hit and push others?

Overall, the study found that 34 percent of the children studied engaged in bullying, and 73 percent reported being the victim of some form of bullying in the previous year. Sadly, most of the bullies – a whopping 97 percent – said they themselves had been victims of bullying. The study concluded that children learn behaviors from their biggest influencers, which, in the majority of cases, are their caregivers or parents.

Civil Citation Program

For youth that are the perpetrators in a domestic violence incident, the Department of Juvenile Justice Civil Citation program may be an option, depending on the severity of the case. This allows juveniles to stay at YCC’s Residential Crisis Care program and receive counseling services instead of going to a lock-down facility and having a criminal record. 

Adolescent Domestic Batterers Typology Tool

One tool YCC uses to gather more information about youth who batter their family members is the Adolescent Domestic Batterers Typology Tool (ADBTT). ADBTT helps provide a framework for developing appropriate goal/treatment plans and utilize appropriate treatment options based on the youth’s risk of future domestic violence incidents.  

Trauma Continues to Grow                                                                                                

The emotional and psychological injuries from domestic violence and bullying can have longer impacts than physical wounds. Ron Bertie, outpatient therapist at the Youth Crisis Center in Jacksonville, said he is seeing an increasing number of adult clients who have never addressed the childhood trauma they experienced from violence or bullying. “At YCC, we don’t just treat the child, we treat the entire family in order to address their relationship issues, emotional scars, or trauma from growing up,” explains Bertie. “When adults have families and children, it can bring up emotional wounds that haven’t healed and are now resurfacing and negatively impacting their current family unit.”

It’s important to seek help if you or a family member is struggling with the impact of violence or bullying. The Youth Crisis Center’s Outpatient Behavioral Health program serves children ages 3 and up, including family members of any age. It provides counseling for a myriad of behavioral and mental health concerns through individual, family, group and couples counseling.

Outpatient Behavioral Health 

The program’s licensed mental health therapists and board-certified psychiatrists provide care for a variety of concerns, such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, behavioral issues and trauma. Individual, family and group therapy, psychiatric evaluations and medication management are provided onsite.

Warning signs of teenagers living with domestic abuse:

  • Poor grades, failing in school
  • Running away
  • Inability to express feelings
  • Property destruction
  • Violent outbursts

Warning signs of bullying:

  • Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
  • Changes in eating habits
  • Declining grades, loss interest of schoolwork
  • Self-destructive behaviors (e.g., hurting themselves, running away from home, talking about suicide)
  • Decreased self-esteem

Being aware of the symptoms and the developmental impact is a step toward advocacy and advancement in the treatment of children exposed to violence or bullying. If you recognize these symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional, a school counselor or someone in authority who can assist with addressing the problem. It’s time to stop the cycle of abuse for the health of everyone – at school, at home and at work.

Are you concerned about relationship issues with your child or between family members? The Youth Crisis Center’s Outpatient Behavioral Health program provides comprehensive mental health and psychiatric care to children as young as 3, as well as their families. Parents may receive individual and family counseling services regardless if their child is a YCC client. Click to learn more about 5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships.

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5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships

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The Jim Moran Foundation Funds Critical Visual Arts Program for Youth

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In what is being called one of the worst funding years for arts and culture by the state of Florida, the Youth Crisis Center (YCC) and Cathedral Arts Project (CAP) say funding from The Jim Moran Foundation has been more critical than ever for the youth both agencies serve. A partnership with CAP has provided visual arts classes for youth in the Residential Crisis Care Center at YCC to help with therapeutic self-expression. It is a vital part of the counseling and support services YCC offers to youth who have been exposed to traumatic situations such as divorce, homelessness, relocation, loss of life, bullying, abuse, and sex trafficking.

Read more about the partnership between YCC and CAP through the National Guild for Community Arts Education news.

International Day of Non-Violence

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Be a Peacemaker in a Conflict-Filled World

People complain about the evening news; it’s all bad news, there’s too much violence and it makes them feel helpless. It’s easy to see why. According to the Peace Alliance, 1.6 million deaths worldwide every year are the result of violence. It is one of the leading causes of death in every part of the world for people ages 15-44. These grim statistics also extend beyond the human cost. On average, the price tag for police, justice, corrections and the impact on productivity for homicide and robbery is $3,257 for each U.S. taxpayer, or $460 billion for the United States economy. 

Violence Is Preventable, Not Inevitable

There are plenty of education and self-defense classes to learn how to avoid being a victim, or what to do to fend off an attack, but the safest and most cost-effective approach is to prevent violence from happening in the first place. That may seem like a naïve wish, but there is growing evidence, according to The Prevent Institute (), that violence is “preventable, not inevitable”. Preventing violence is a critical health and cost issue for individuals, families and communities. 

International Day of Non-Violence

Recognizing the need for non-violence is at the heart of International Day of Non-Violence, marked each year on October 2, in honor of Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi led a non-violent civil disobedience movement and famously inspired non-violent movements for civil rights and freedom around the world. He is credited with saying, “Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.”

Four Steps to Control Conflict

To prevent conflict from turning violent, experts suggest four steps to employ clear, empathetic communication:

Observations – Approach a problem with the facts, not your opinion. People are more likely to find common ground over a fact versus someone’s opinion. For example, “It’s midnight and I can hear your partying is still going strong,” addresses the facts of the situation versus, “It’s way too late for you to be having such a loud party.” 

Feelings – Identify your feelings without being confrontational or judgmental. For example, “Your dog is not leashed; I’m scared of dogs and it’s making me nervous.” Also, try to avoid projecting your feelings onto someone else by assuming how they may be feeling.

Needs – When our needs or the needs of others are addressed, it makes people feel heard and important. It also provides a clear understanding of what someone is asking from the other person or the situation. For example, if you want more time with your friend or partner, you can address it by saying, “I see that you have some free time tonight; I would love to catch up.” This keeps the focus on your needs without accusation that the person is not making you a priority.

Requests – For clear communication, it’s important to be transparent in what is wanted from a person or a situation. Conflict can occur when people aren’t honest, make demands or fail to provide real options. Initiate requests in a way that accommodates discussion, like, “I’m not enjoying this show; would you mind if we watched something else? We can find something we will both like.” It’s important to allow the other person to say no or propose an alternative.

Promote a Message of Peace

It’s also important to keep in mind that even if you do all of the above, you may not always get the answer you want. Practicing non-violence depends heavily on personal responsibility, taking ownership of your own feelings and letting others own theirs without judgement or hostility. Finally, take some time to encourage others to do something peaceful on International Day of Non-Violence. Meditate, pray, volunteer, or read or watch something that promotes a message of peace. Creating and maintaining peace in your household is a start, where everyone can do their part in promoting peace.

Are you concerned about relationship issues with your child or between family members? The Youth Crisis Center’s Outpatient Behavioral Health program provides comprehensive mental health and psychiatric care to children as young as 3, as well as their families. Parents may receive individual and family counseling services regardless if their child is a YCC client. Click to learn more about 5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships.

Download our free ebook!

5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships

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Youth Crisis Center Teams With Feeding Northeast Florida To Fight Childhood Obesity

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Learning more about nutrition can be helpful in avoiding childhood obesity.
THE U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION / WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

The Youth Crisis Center (YCC) and Feeding Northeast Florida are teaming up to combat  obesity in Jacksonville’s children.

September is National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month.

About one in five children over six in the U.S. are considered obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Appearing on Thursday’s First Coast Connect, YCC Director of Strategic Partnerships Nina Lopez said many children are facing troubles that lead to poor dietary habits.

“In the clients we serve, children and families are dealing with common causes of obesity and this could stem from everything such as genetics, metabolism problems, environmental factors and what’s going on in the community in general, a lack of sleep maybe, bad eating habits and a lack of physical activities,” she said.

Feeding Northeast Florida CEO Frank Castillo said his group is working with YCC to help create a food pantry for at-risk children and their families with more healthy food options.

Many of the children live in so-called “food deserts” where healthy food options can be hard to come by.

Kevin Meerschaert can be reached at kmeerschaert@wjct.org, 904-358-6334 or on Twitter at @KMeerschaertJax.

Photo used under Creative Commons license.

“Family Means Nobody Gets Left Behind or Forgotten.” – Lilo & Stitch

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During her fifteen-plus years in the mental health field, Cecelia Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs, LMHC, has met her share of people who feel lost, sad or abandoned. As a licensed mental health counselor and current Director of Program Services at the Youth Crisis Center (YCC), she says those feelings can often be indicators of suicidal thoughts.

The Questionnaire of Concern

YCC requires young adults to fill out a questionnaire when they apply to its Touchstone Village transitional living program and one question asks if they know at least one adult or family member they could call in the middle of the night in case of emergency. Sadly, for most, the answer is no. Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs says when a young adult has no connections or support, there is an increased sense of loneliness and despair. She recalled one young man, named DD*, who came to Touchstone Village and made her very concerned about his potential for self-harm. (*Name has been changed.)

Afraid and Alone, A Worrisome Combination

Touchstone Village provides transitional living services to young adults ages 18-21 who may be homeless or in a variety of other situations which limit self-sufficiency. They have little-to-no family support and some have major mental health concerns, mostly stemming from traumatic events. “Often times, the family or friend support they do have is from someone who is taking advantage of them,” adds Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs. “We discuss and work through what a healthy relationship looks like.”

DD had just turned 18 when he arrived, afraid and alone. With his father incarcerated and his mother addicted to drugs, he’d been left with abusive grandparents, only to later be placed in roughly 30 foster or group homes. DD described himself as “anti-social” and “not having any friends”.  YCC’s mental health evaluations indicated he struggled with PTSD, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. These all contributed to a worrisome combination for Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs and her colleagues.

Digging Deep to Find the Brave in the Boy

At Touchstone Village, each resident has their own fully furnished efficiency-sized apartment and receives life skills, career development training, academic monitoring and support, and mental health services, if needed. The goal is to assist residents in developing skills necessary for self-sufficiency.

Upon entering Touchstone Village, DD remained reserved and cautious, isolating himself in his apartment. Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs and the team worked with him on both his life skills and social skills. They encouraged him to interact with other residents by playing air hockey, watching TV together and helping the group cook in the kitchen. DD began to show improvement with hygiene, keeping his room clean and increasing his social interactions. As his anxiety level decreased, he took college classes and held a part-time job. No one had ever taken DD for a professional haircut; so, as a reward, he got his hair styled. Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs says that was a big turning point in his self-confidence.

The Answer to the Question is YES!

Since coming to Touchstone Village, DD has been promoted to a shift leader role at his job, has a girlfriend, opened his first checking account, and now laughs and jokes with other residents. On his re-assessment questionnaire, DD answered “YES” that he did know someone he could call in the middle of the night. He responded that he is now part of a family that cares about each other. “He has a vision of himself as a successful adult,” boasts Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs. “It’s exciting to see him full of happiness and confidence.” Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs says knowing that DD has not just one person he can call, but a group of people he considers family makes her job fulfilling.  

If you know a young adult between the ages of 18-21 who is struggling to become self-reliant and independent, YCC can provide transitional living services through its Touchstone Village program. Click to learn more about Touchstone Village and the 5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently.

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5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently

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World Suicide Prevention Day

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Something Was Wrong

Justice’s parents could tell, even as a child, that their bright and precocious daughter was struggling with something. They didn’t know what it was, and she couldn’t explain it. They had her tested for everything from ADD to autism and nothing showed up. When Justice turned 12, her behavior was so extreme that she had to be hospitalized, where she was then diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Her diagnosis, however, did not mean she was cured; and, over the next five years, her condition led to increasing conflicts with her family and additional hospitalizations. Her mother began to fear their home did not feel safe for the rest of the family, so Justice moved out. “A lot of the time – when I was going through my depression – I didn’t want to seem needy or ask for help,” explains Justice. “I wanted to handle it myself, but I really wasn’t handling it.”

The Village That Gave Her a Voice

Justice heard about the Youth Crisis Center’s Touchstone Village and was eager to see if she qualified for the program. Touchstone Village provides transitional living services to young adults ages 18-21 who may be homeless or in a variety of other situations that limit self-sufficiency. Residents live in their own efficiency-sized apartment for a monthly nominal fee. Residents also receive life skills training, career development training and academic monitoring and support. Mental health services are available as needed. The goal is to assist residents in developing skills necessary for self-sufficiency.

Justice qualified for an apartment, but it was the mental health counseling that was critical to helping her realize she needed to be responsible for her own future. She had to learn to take her medication and manage her depression and anxiety herself if she wanted to be independent and live on her own successfully. Justice finished high school, found a full-time job and enrolled as a part-time college student. “As an adult, if I don’t take care of myself and I lose my job, then I won’t be able to pay my bills or have a place to live,” acknowledges Justice. “I love being able to make my own decisions and buy what I want, so it’s very important that I stay on track.”

You Can’t Press Pause on Your Life

Justice encourages other young people and their families to be proactive about mental health. She believes that mental health issues should be addressed and managed at a young age, before a person needs hospitalization or begins to experience suicidal thoughts. According to the World Suicide Prevention Day website, suicide is responsible for over 800,000 deaths, which equates to one suicide every 40 seconds. Justice admits it is hard for a young adult to ask for help. “You don’t want to appear different to your friends because you have to take medication or go to a counselor,” adds Justice. She says friends or family can be supportive by simply telling that person they are loved, appreciated and valued. For young adults battling depression, she encourages them to educate themselves, seek out counseling or medication, or even find a form of spiritualty. “You can’t pause your life because you have a mental illness or something,” insists Justice. “You have to be able to say, ‘Whatever happened to me is part of who I am. My life is what I make of it and I want mine to be great.’”

If you know of a young adult between the ages of 18 – 21 who is struggling to become self-reliant and independent, YCC can provide transitional living services through our Touchstone Village program. Click to learn more about Touchstone Village and the 5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently.

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5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently

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Family Is Where You Find It

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Most people would admit to preferring the company of happy people over grumps. But did you know that happiness is contagious and can spread to an entire group of people from just one happy person? National Happiness Happens Day encourages us to recognize happy moments and think about happiness in our daily lives. This “happy-holiday” encourage us to remember the joy we create for ourselves and others.

To share some healthy happiness, residents at the Youth Crisis Center’s (YCC) Touchstone Village, a transitional living program that provides services to young adults still developing self-sufficiency skills, were treated to a “family night” at Bowl America. “We know that many of our residents struggle with healthy and happy relationships,” said Cecelia Stalnaker-Cauwenberghs, LMHC and Director of Program Services at YCC. “So, we want to create opportunities that encourage an environment where they can develop a sense of family, to feel what it’s like to trust, support and bond with each other.

Researchers say a happy family environment, no matter the size, genetic relation or how the members came to be a family, creates a healthy life for everyone involved.

4 Reasons Why Family Time Is Happy Time

Families Who Play Together Stay Together
Family time is an important bonding experience, which deepens relationships. Play is a way to work out family issues, relieve stress and create opportunities for teamwork, which is helpful in coping with stressors like finance, health issues and busy schedules.

Making Merry Memories
It’s important to create environments where happy memories can occur. Families come in all shapes and sizes, so providing a variety of healthy experiences will help give blended families a common goal and mutually-fond memories, especially if the family unit has challenges to overcome when together.

It’s Okay to Be Sorry
When family members or a family unit gather, it’s possible that someone will say something hurtful or annoying. It’s important to spend enough time together to make those mistakes and learn how to apologize and forgive each other. If time isn’t invested to first establish trust, it’s hard to turn to those underdeveloped skills later.

Bonding for Better Behavior
Parents should not only teach rules and good behavior to children at home, but also take children into the outside world to practice socializing and interacting with others. Activities that provide time to talk, laugh and compete all help the bonding experience. Correcting behavior like being a bad sport, or not following rules or etiquette, affords low-pressure teaching opportunities for parents, siblings or friends to model.

Make sure to put the fun in your family time; even deciding what to do can turn into a fun activity. If you need an idea, the residents at Touchstone Village say they are heading to Skate Station next month!

If you know of a young adult between the ages of 18 – 21 who is struggling to become self-reliant and independent, YCC can provide transitional living services through our Touchstone Village program. Click to learn more about Touchstone Village and the 5 Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently.

Download our free ebook!

5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently

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How Friends Can Save Your Life

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The popular show Friends featured a group of friends who experienced the everyday struggles of life, love and growing up. The theme throughout the series was finding support in each other despite obstacles or disagreements. Those virtues of a good friendship are celebrated on the first Sunday of August during National Friendship Day, set to honor friends, family and groups who provide support and encouragement. Rachel Mulholland, LMHC and YCC Touchstone Village therapist, sees the negative impact that occurs when young adults don’t have a strong support system. “Many of our young adults come to us without having a foundation of support, which leads to mistrust, increased anxiety and depression.” Mulholland says that a positive support system, whether from friends, family or a counselor, can encourage confidence, independence and an overall healthier lifestyle.

3 Benefits of a Support System

Find Friends Who Invest In Your Happiness
Relationships are an instrumental part of success. A friend who can be counted on not only to listen and provide positive feedback, but to also be honest in their critique and advice, can provide a roadmap for success. These guiding friends will also be complimentary and encouraging of your accomplishments. A toxic friend can increase stress and negativity, create insecurity and self-doubt, and ultimately deter you from your goals. If a supportive friend can’t be found, or challenges are too big for a simple sit down to talk it out, then sometimes a mental health counselor or support group can fill the role of a mentor or structured support system.

Having Support Makes You Healthier
During stressful times, our bodies can react in negative ways through physical ailments like high blood pressure, sleeplessness or headaches. Support from family and friends can do more than just ease your mind, they can make you healthier and even save your life. Research conducted at Brigham Young University and the University of North Carolina showed people who did not have strong social support were 50% more likely to die from illness than those who had support.

Mentors Provide Positive Reinforcement
Young people with mentors have shown to be more confident and less likely to get into trouble. A five year study sponsored by Big Brothers Big Sisters Canada proved that a mentor can help navigate students through daily pressures and provide a foundation of self-reliance when it comes to making smart decisions. Students with access to an advisor, or a teacher who provides support, feel more self-assured about their productivity and less stressed over peer pressure. Having a mentor to provide leadership and guidance helps young people build confidence as they develop their independence for the future.

In addition to teaching independent life skills training, Touchstone Village at YCC also provides mentoring and support. Residents receive life skills training, career development, and academic monitoring and support. Mental health services are available as needed. The goal is to assist residents in developing skills necessary for self-sufficiency.

If you know of a young adult between the ages of 18 – 21 who is struggling to become self-reliant and independent, YCC can provide transitional living services through our Touchstone Village program. Click to learn more about Touchstone Village and the 5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently

Download our free ebook!

5 Key Skills Young Adults Need to Successfully Live Independently

Learn More
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